Saturday, 19 October 2013

New Wardrobe Item

"What's that smell?" Pat asked. "That would be the rubbing alcohol," I replied. "Why on earth do you smell like rubbing alcohol?" he persisted. " I need it. It's my latest attempt to make this work."

You see, it all goes back to my new wardrobe item. I'll give you a hint. It has to do with a part of my aging anatomy now being officially declared incompetent.

I know what you're thinking. There are so many parts of me that could be declared incompetent. We could start with my brain that has such difficulty remembering names and book and movie titles. What about other body parts? As anyone who has seen me lately might observe...there's a whole lot of sagging going on.

My feet should have been declared incompetent years ago. Now I only wear footwear that will accomodate my orthotics. Even my eyelashes are duds. I scrub them with baby shampoo to keep the blepharitis (crusty eyelids) at bay. And no, this has nothing to do with my hair. My profile photo shows me with the curls that I had for approximately 45 years. It turns out they were hormonal. They arrived with puberty and left with menopause. Nothing remains the same.

Give up? Well the part of me that has most recently been examined are my legs. While they have looked pretty horrendous for years, I never cared because I can't see the back of my legs. They felt okay so I ignored them. However, they've gradually been getting more sore. Around the time we spent five days straight painting all the verandah spindles, in the extreme heat in July, they really made their prescence known. They were all crampy and achy.

I had an ultrasound done and the official diagnosis came back..."venous incompetence". Basically, the valves in my deep veins are not working. Of course this is not a particularly unusual problem. All kinds of people have bad veins and in my case I should not be surprised. My mother has had serious leg problems for  most of her life. One of the doctors who operated on her legs years ago, pronounced her legs the worst in the city of Ottawa. So really, I am lucky that mine have not bothered me much until now.

I should do more reading about it but basically, two of the common suggestions for treatment are to elevate your legs and to wear compression (support) stockings. So, I got a prescription for the stockings and set out to buy them. I chose a pair but the cashier convinced me to buy the next size up. I took them home, put them on and they promptly fell down. Because she had recommended the size change the salesperson agreed to exchange them.

Compression stockings don't look quite as bad as they used to. Yes, they're kind of shiny but I can live with that. I put on my new stockings and they felt good...tight but good. These are a thigh high model with a wide band at the top. On the outside the band looks lacey but on the inside it has a rubber backing. The idea is that the rubber just sticks to the top of your leg.

Well, they did stick and stay up there at first. But after a couple of days I decided I should wash them. Ever since that I have had trouble keeping them up. They start off fine but once I have walked around the house a bit there they are, down at my ankles.

So, I spoke to the salesperson who advised me to wet the rubber band before I put on the stockings. That worked for about 15 minutes. Next I was advised to clean off the rubber band with rubbing alcohol every time I put them on. That would clean off all my dead skin cells and help them to stick better. I cleaned off the offending skin cells but again, down they went. 

And so, later today I am going back to the store. Apparently the last resort is to buy a roll on glue stick, which you apply to your legs before you put on the stockings. 

Maybe this is the real reason that people my age retire. It takes so much time to get ready to get out the door. By the time do your back exercises so you can get out of bed, scrub your crusty eyelids, put your orthotics in the right shoes, put in your hearing aid, glue on your stockings, and cream up your wrinkly skin, it's almost lunch time!

No comments:

Post a Comment