Merry Christmas,Happy Holidays,Happy?New Year !

Well, it's crunch time - a week from today it will be boxing day. The big meal will be over and the presents will be unwrapped. We have nothing on the agenda for that day. Here's hoping we'll be lounging around in our pjs, watching tv, eating leftovers, napping or reading new books.

In the meantime I am trying to feel the Christmas spirit as I continually scan, add and delete items from my various to do lists. We are blessed with the joys and challenges of many family members. A good friend pronounced yesterday that I am not just part of the sandwich generation; I am a club sandwich.

It's not just the pressure of Christmas tasks that is contributing to my less than joyful mood. It's the never ending coverage of the impending Trump presidency. With every new appointment, the future seems bleaker. If you really want to feel frightened, have a look at Trump and nuclear fears, which aired on CBC's The National last week. Then there is the daily news from Aleppo, Syria. How can such a tragedy be possible? How can the whole world be watching this ongoing slaughter? I can't do anything about that situation but all of us can be as kind and giving as possible to those new refugees that we may encounter or hear about. Hopefully I will carve out a bit more time to contribute to the local English language drop-in classes in the new year.

How to get through this period? All I can think of is to focus on any positives. This morning our local CBC radio show, Ottawa Morning aired a little segment about a bus driver who dresses up as Santa Claus and puts Christmas lights on his bus every day. Yes, I suppose you could say that some people might be offended, but it certainly put a smile on my face, just hearing about it.

So I am going to try to focus on the positives, the good people, the kind acts. This morning, Norah's friend Sarah came to her house to babysit, at 8 am. She not only dragged herself out of bed and across town to be there, she also brought coffee for the tired parents! Just hearing about that made my day!

There really are so many good people all around us. This week, and in the new year, I'm going to try to  focus and celebrate their kindness, thoughtfulness and generosity. Wishing you peace and happiness....

P.S. As if I needed confirmation of the goodness in people....
Last night The National ran this piece about a woman in B.C. who has started a Facebook group called Helping Our Northern Neighbours. Her name is Jennifer Gwilliam and what she has accomplished is truly amazing. Through her efforts, there are now many groups of people in southern Canada who are sending food, clothing and other supplies to people in northern Canada. It's only eight minutes long. If you have time, watch it all the way through for the surprise near the end.

The sin of bottled water

As the year draws to a close I will post this piece that I wrote a couple of months ago. It's still relevant, always relevant. It's about one of my pet peeves - bottled water.

Water, Water Everywhere ?

Remember water fountains? They’re becoming as scarce as phone booths. I recently visited The Rideau Centre, which has almost completed a 360 million dollar renovation and expansion project. I became tired, thirsty and cranky when I couldn’t find a water fountain.  That’s because there are no water fountains in the entire mall. This is not an isolated occurrence. It’s a calculated move. Some university buildings in Ontario and B.C. are encountering similar situations, as companies like Coca Cola and PepsiCo obtain contracts to provide all beverages sold on campus. How much control has been given to these companies when people lose access to water fountains?

Another giant in the beverage business is Nestle. For months now they have been waging a David and Goliath battle - the township of Centre Wellington (in southwestern Ontario) against Nestle Waters Canada, a subsidiary of the Swiss based multinational Nestle S.A. 

Why should Ottawa residents care about water fights in southwestern Ontario? It’s because the province has stepped into this discussion and wants your opinion. It could be our water sites that are affected next.

Nestle already has two water sites in the Guelph/Wellington area; at Aberfoyle and Erin. They are allowed to extract 4.7 million litres a day there. However, that’s not enough for Nestle, the company that brings you San Pellegrino, Montclair, Perrier, Smarties and Delissio Pizza, among other products. No, this summer they outbid Centre Wellington for the rights to a third aquifer at Middlebrook, near Elora. Centre Wellington wanted to buy the aquifer so they could supply drinking water to their growing population.

After months of campaigning by environmental groups, the Ontario government has opened the door to possible changes in the water selling business. On October 17th, Keith Leslie of The Canadian Press reported that “the Ontario government posted a proposed regulation for public comment that would impose a moratorium until 2019 on water taking permits for new or expanded operations that take groundwater to bottle and sell. The Ministry of the Environment and Climate Change will also stop issuing permits for pump tests that determine the quality and quantity of water available for bottling until the province completes a review of its regulations.” Minister of the Environment and Climate Change, Glen Murray, stated that “This really deals with the issue of water being withdrawn from aquifers and groundwater that isn’t returned and we just came through a summer of significant water stress.”

The absurdity of a town not being able to buy and use its own natural resource has galvanized attention from many quarters.  CBC comedians Gavin Crawford and Rick Mercer have joined the fray. On the September 30^th edition of Because News, comedian Crawford sang his version of the old Coca Cola ad, I’d Like to teach the World to Sing:

“I’d like to buy your H2O,

for my own company

And sell you plastic bottles of

What you once got for free.”

That pretty well sums it up. Millions of consumers have been convinced to pay for something they can get for free. It’s practically free for Nestle as well. In his October 11^th rant Rick Mercer pointed out that Ontario sells water at the rate of $3.71 per million litres.  Bottled water companies, golf clubs, municipalities and construction companies are currently allowed to take 1.4 trillion litres of surface and ground water every day!

http://www.cbc.ca/player/play/784324675686

Not only do we have the issue of taking water that should belong to local residents. We also have the waste of energy used in the manufacture and recycling of plastic bottles. At the end of the day the majority of bottles end up in landfill. In the Bottlegate episode of TVO’s Water Brothers series, hosts Alex and Tyler Mifflin pointed out that Toronto recycling facilities receive 700 000 plastic water bottles every day. Toronto landfills are deluged with 65 million water bottles every year!

Clearly our water situation is out of hand. The Ontario government’s recent decision,  to study the whole process is a baby step in the right direction. Premier Kathleen Wynne said she wants to hear from Ontarians as the government overhauls the water taking permit program. Let her know what you think.

Respect

What would I do without CBC radio to accompany my days? (Don't get me started on Conservative   leadership candidate Kellie Leith, who has stated that the CBC should be dismantled. )

Anyhow, today I heard an interesting show; Out in the Open. Today's episode was Who Gets to Go. It was all about public bathrooms. The part that really moved me was the interview with a bathroom cleaner. He talked about his job, with its risks of encountering germs and disease. When asked what he thought the public thinks of bathroom cleaners he replied, "We're invisible and disposable."
How sad is that?

It made me think about my own attitude towards all the people who clean up after me: the people who collect our garbage, the folks in shopping malls and airports who sweep the floors, empty the trash and clean the bathrooms. How often do any of us take the time to make eye contact, smile or thank these hard-working people?  In my time as a teacher there were plenty of opportunities to interact with the cleaning staff. Many teachers had great relationships with the school care staff. Others clearly thought janitors were beneath them and only spoke to them to give instructions or complain.

In today's interview, the cleaner asked that people give them a little respect. We should respect the people who do these jobs and also respect the next person to come along and use that bathroom stall or that shopping cart. How many times do I find dirty kleenex in my shopping cart? Tonight as I left my local Canadian Tire store, I saw a young employee bent over, picking up garbage from the store parking lot. It was mostly empty wiper blade packages. Customers went in, bought their winter wiper blades and simply threw the empty packages on the ground, before driving off. Yes, it's all about respect and consideration of others.

Trump

Well, I was hoping that maybe it was a nightmare, that maybe we'd wake up and discover it was the most horrible bad dream of all time. However it's been a week now and there's no denying it any longer - Trump is going to be President. What can I add to the scores of opinions written in the past week?

I'm happy that our grandchildren are too young to understand what has happened. We don't have to talk to them about this sad turn of events. I totally sympathize with the many parents and teachers who have expressed confusion about how to explain this to the young ones in their care.

As a retired teacher I can best relate this to my experience in the classroom. Over the course of the election I have been privileged to hear many of President Obama's speeches. Obama is a compilation of all the great kids I ever taught. He's intelligent, but not a show off, "look at me" kind of kid. He knows the answers and gets great marks but never boasts or makes the other kids feel bad about their lower marks. In fact he's the kid who offers to mentor others in the class. He's your class leader, the helpful kid, the one you can rely on. He's thoughtful and polite but he also loves to joke. He's  a terrific athlete,  an all round great guy.

Then there's Trump. He's a compilation of all the problem kids you ever had. For starters he's a loudmouth. When Trump constantly interrupted,  with rude comments during the debates I was reminded of the smart aleck students who simply can't keep their mouths shut. No matter how many times you ask, no matter what strategies you employ, they always have to comment, to call out, to interrupt both teachers and fellow classmates. They think their rudeness, their jokes are a gift to the class. Maybe it's because these guys are often not so smart. They sure don't want anyone to realize that and so they goof off. Kids with learning problems would much rather be known as the bad guys, the class clowns, rather than the dumb guys.

When you call the parents of the problem student his are the parents who deny. They deny that he might have  learning problems and they deny that his behaviour is an issue. It is the teacher's fault, the other student's fault, but certainly not his fault. The closest they might get to admitting his responsibility is when they laugh at an incident and say helpful things like, "Boys will be boys."

The strange things is that sometimes when you have a class election or vote for a class rep for student council, the troublemaker runs and often wins. What is it about the bad boys that attracts other students, that makes the girls in the class swoon? Why do they ignore the positive leader and giggle at the antics of the boor?

I wish I was just ruminating about a grade seven class election. I wish this was a nightmare but it's the real deal. It has happened. The Presidency of the U.S. will go from the top to the bottom of the class, from the best to the worst.

Good luck to all the fine teachers and parents who will continue to teach their youngsters about manners, morality and our responsibility to care for our neighbours and the environment. I am encouraged by the many fine leaders who are protesting, expressing their views and standing up for the rights of their fellow citizens. I am heartened by the leadership of folks like Michael Moore and even the Conference of Catholic Bishops in the U.S. , who yesterday sent a letter to Trump telling him that the church was committed to resettling refugees and keeping immigrant families intact.

It's been a week. It's real and it's time to think about the best ways to survive these next four years. If he visits Ottawa I'll be there, with the rest of the protesters.

Hallloween

Happy Halloween!
Somehow it's the end of October already. As a kid I loved Halloween. Of course life was simpler then. We always made our own costumes from whatever we could find around the house. Cowboys and hobos were common ideas. (What kid would even know what hobo means today? When I think about that, it reminds me of stories that my mother-in-law has told me, about her mother feeding hobos during the depression. It's a word from our parents' youth, back in the thirties.) If we needed a moustache or beard my mother would find a cork, light it, let it burn a minute, then blow it out. With the blackened end she would draw the moustache and /or beard on our faces.

With a sister, friend or cousin we would set out with our pillow cases. As we got older we ventured farther and of course our parents had no idea where we were for all those hours. I remember being so exhausted. My legs felt that they might fall off and the pillow case was so heavy at the end of the night I could barely drag it along, much less carry it.

So I've always enjoyed Halloween; the candy and the costumes. It's really evolved over the years. This weekend talk shows on radio and tv have included discussions on creepy (scary) clowns, politically correct costumes etc. I won't waste much time on that except to say that I don't understand people who get pleasure in scaring and shocking people. There was a young man on radio last week who talked proudly about jumping out of bushes to scare people, even people in wheelchairs. I'm all in favour of folks having fun around Halloween but not at the expense of others.

In my youth the main decoration was a lit pumpkin. Now, of course houses are decorated, some weeks in advance, to get you in the mood. I enjoy walking around, seeing what people have put out. Here's one from our street a few years ago.

What I don't appreciate or understand is the notion of setting up fake graveyards on front lawns. Like the idea of zombies and zombie walks I simply don't get the notion of making fun of death. Death isn't funny. Cemeteries are not fun places. Death is final and sad. For anyone who has had a recent death in their family, for all the folks like our newest refugees, who are fleeing violence,  images of blood and gore and death are anything but entertaining.

Enough complaining already. It's time to put the final touches on our decorations out front. Here's an idea we picked up a few years ago. You collect cheese graters (available at all garage and rummage sales) and line them up along your walkway. Put tea lights in them to make a twinkling path. It's so simple but effective. People love it. The only problem is you have to store the cheese graters. That's just one of the reasons our basement is so darn full.

My Two Minutes of Fame

Well, here's an easy one. Instead of writing, I'll let you have a listen to me rambling on a bit, on Friday's edition of Ontario Today on CBC radio. When I learned that they would be discussing modern architecture and its lack of curves, both in our institutions and our neighbourhoods, I couldn't help myself. I was their first caller of the day but I was certainly not alone in my views. Most callers are dismayed by the proposed addition to the Chateau Laurier Hotel here in Ottawa. On the program's site you can see some of the buildings that were discussed. Here are a few photos of homes in our neighbourhood that illustrate what I was talking about.

Kelly Egan of the Ottawa Citizen has described many of our infill houses as "mini office buildings"

This lovely home is one of the many that our neighbourhood has lost.

Here's what I meant  about new homes overpowering their neighbours.

What I didn't have a chance to say was that there are plenty of places where existing architectural patterns are respected and protected. London, England is one such place Another is St. Augustine, Florida. Here's a story I heard while on tour there.

Tourists visit St. Augustine to see the historic buildings

This is a recently built parking garage in the historic district. City rules for the area meant it had to be built in the style of the surrounding buildings. Smart city!

September

September

September is perhaps the cruelest month; it marks not only the end of summer but the beginning of the school year. While many students look forward to their new schedules, fall often brings increased anxiety, especially for high school students.

 It’s been fifty years since I started high school. I was reminded of that this summer when I attended a Monkees concert at Ottawa’s Bluesfest. Two of the remaining group members (heartthrob Davy Jones died in 2012) are in the midst of their fiftieth anniversary tour.

I was a Monkees fan. In 1966, my Grade 9 year, The Monkees were a new music group with their own television show. Over it’s two year run, nothing could come between that show and me. Their posters plastered my bedroom walls. Daydream Believer? Like millions of fans, I day-dreamed constantly about Davy Jones.

On a beautiful July night I biked along the Ottawa River to this summer’s concert. Memories of riding my bike along that same path, as a teen, prompted all kinds of comparisons. It is the same path, along the same river, but I’m different from top to bottom. My curly blonde hair is now straight and gray.  My runners, like all my shoes, have orthotics. Even the name of the path has changed. For over forty years it was The Ottawa River Parkway. However, like a number of Ottawa landmarks, it was renamed during the Harper regime and is now The Sir John A. MacDonald Parkway.

At the concert venue I stopped to chat with a couple of female police officers. Now there’s a wonderful improvement from my high school days. The idea of female police officers was unheard of back then.

The concert started with ‘Last Train to Clarksville’ and I was instantly transported back to my Grade 9 bedroom with my LP playing on my red and white plastic record player. From my vantage point at the concert I could see the stage and screen but my attention was drawn to the sea of music lovers walking by me to other concerts in the park that night. That parade was far more interesting than anything on the stage.

In the 60’s your hair colour was whatever grew out of your head. Many of the people who passed by me that night were sporting red, blue, purple, green or striped hair.

Clothes are another story. In those days we were mortified if a bra strap was showing. Now bra straps are part of the outfit. Or not. That night I watched vulnerable young girls, looking uncomfortable as they yanked up their strapless tops. Their shorts left little to the imagination.

In spite of Women’s Lib, feminist studies, and talk of gender equality over the last 50 years, many young women feel they have to display so much skin. Back in the sixties, Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech. In part it reads, ”I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character.” If only today’s young women were confident enough to be judged by their character, their talents and abilities, as opposed to the amount of skin they expose.

So here we are, in another school year. Teens enter high school, nervous about their new surroundings, their teachers, the demands of the high school curriculum, their friends. Back in my day The Monkees provided me with a wonderful escape from those realities. Watching their show, listening to their songs, gazing at their posters ...that was easier than worrying about friends, pimples and my unmanageable curly hair.

The opportunity to follow teen idols is so much easier today. What would I have done to keep myself away from the constant temptation of the internet and social media overload concerning today’s stars?

Today’s teens face substantially more pressure than I did in 1966. Thank goodness I did not have to keep up my image on Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat. Kids may have talked about me behind my back but I never found out about it. Photos were something you took with a film and then waited a couple of weeks to come back in the mail. There was no danger of someone taking my photo and posting it for the world to see.

Images of war were in my history books, not in real time on my cell phone. For me, war was something that had happened in Europe, a long time ago. There was no knowledge of mass shootings, suicide bombings or random acts of violence.

So my heart goes out to today’s students, especially those starting at new schools. I hope they can find a balance between doing schoolwork, spending time with family and friends, following their idols and developing their talents. I hope they can learn to discern what’s important and real. I hope they’ll be lucky like me and get fifty years after high school, with family and friends to keep them company.

What did you do on your summer holidays?

Remember going back to school and having to write about your summer holidays? Over the past few months I have considered writing about many events in my very ordinary, but busy life. Here are a few ideas knocking around in my small brain:

How did we get this old? In July we celebrated our 40th anniversary - lucky us! We were married on the opening day of the Montreal Olympics. This summer we celebrated the occasion a few times. Our favourite was a weekend at a cottage with our kids and grandchildren. They prepared a spectacular dinner for us. We're so glad we could spend some time altogether and look forward to  being together again, on Thanksgiving weekend.

September 21st was World Alzheimer's Day. My sister-in-law, Jan, died in June,  of complications from Alzheimers. She was only 69. Her loss; the initial, gradual loss and now this final farewell, is very sad. We are now journeying with her mother, as she follows a similar path. In August she was hospitalized, had surgery and then moved. As we work to provide her with the best care possible, we often feel stressed with the many challenges we face. Underneath all the details is a  sense of sadness, as we experience the gradual loss of the person we knew.

I could write about funerals and expressions of sympathy. It's always interesting how people respond or don't respond, when you experience a loss. We have appreciated every card, every greeting, every morsel of food that has been offered to us since Jan's death. In the weeks after her funeral we received letters from four different cousins, all recounting stories of Jan's childhood or adolescence. To receive handwritten letters in this day and age is a wonderful novelty. To hear anecdotes about a departed loved one is a real gift. I've come to realize that it really doesn't matter if you dash off that sympathy card in the first week after a friend experiences a loss. Those first weeks after a death are so busy, you don't really have time to appreciate all the cards. Those sent a month or two later actually get more attention.

Then there was our trip to Nova Scotia. The Cabot Trail was as spectacular as ever, Too bad we didn't plan that trip out farther in advance. Did we really think all those Bed and Breakfast places were just sitting idle, waiting for us? Turns out we were part of a huge wave of tourists in the area. The bonus of this visit was having Brendan as our tour guide.

Food - Although I hate facing the end of summer, I have to admit that this is the best time of year for eating. We are lucky enough to live close to an outdoor market. It's a pleasure to be able to buy fresh produce from the people that actually grow it. I know that we are paying a bit more than in the grocery stores but I'd rather support these people who are out there, in all kinds of weather, all day long. I will spend enough time in boring grocery stores the rest of the year. You simply cannot beat the taste of the corn that we get there!

The U.S. election - Happily, we were at a cottage with no TV during the Republican Convention so we didn't hear any of those speeches. The following week we were back home and watched a lot of the Democratic Convention. Call me corny, but hearing so many of those speeches restored my faith in the U.S. There were some truly inspiring  messages. Two of my favourites were from Rev. William Barber, President of the North Carolina NAACP, and  Khzir Khan, the father of a U.S. Muslim soldier. who was killed in combat.The calibre of these speakers is simply outstanding.

And yet last night, I heard a political commentator say that in tonight's debate, if Trump is even able to string together a few coherent sentences, he will have had a great night!? It's an unbelievable situation. It's going to be an interesting evening for sure.

Of course no comment on my summer can escape some notice about our adorable grandchildren. We feel so fortunate to have them in our lives. On our most recent visit we went for a "night walk" with them. Actually it was a bike (trike) ride. There is simply nothing to match the joy and wonder of experiencing a child's happiness. I loved walking behind Avery and watching him happily biking along and then stopping to jump three or four times in every puddle we came across. There are no commercials for that, no way to plan it out, but those everyday experiences with a young child are priceless.

So, I may go back and explore some of these ideas in more detail later. Or not. For now, I will post something I wrote about September, Grade Nine angst, and the Monkees.

Gone Fishin'

I'm sorry. This is so lame. Even though it's summer, life has been busy and not conducive to writing. That being said, I am totally enjoying travels and visits with family and friends. In September, when life returns to normal, I'll write more regularly. Thanks for checking this space. I wish you well as summer continues.

Violence all over

Ever since high school I have watched the evening newscast. As a teen I watched it with my parents, back in the days of Stanley Burke and Knowlton Nash. Even though I usually have the radio on during the day, I still want to see the faces in the news at the end of the day. Many people say it's a lousy way to end your day. Last night I was thinking that maybe they're right. It really does get discouraging.


I found it very moving to listen to Dr. Brian Williams of Parkland Memorial Hospital who worked to save police officers' lives after they were shot in Dallas last week. (It's a tragic coincidence that it was the same hospital where JFK was taken after he was shot in Dallas all those years ago.)

It was heart-wrenching to listen to this doctor speak of both his experience as a young black man with police and also his experience as a doctor witnessing the aftermath of violence. "I abhor what has been done to these officers and I grieve with their families. .....They are not the problem......This killing, it has to stop." If only people would listen to this wise man. The Dallas police chief was equally compelling. At one point he stated that police officers are called on to do too much, to solve societal ills that they are ill-equipped to solve. As examples he mentioned issues arising from financial shortfalls to mental illness and drug addiction progammes. I think he's right. Politicians would do well to heed his words.

Then there were a  few other items in the newscast..problems and conflicts in Iran, South Sudan, and the Ukraine.

Then came the item that really got to me. It was about MMA (mixed martial arts) and the sale of the UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship) yesterday.   Apparently it is the biggest sports deal ever. UFC was sold for 4 billion dollars. It has the  largest pay per view audience in the world; 1.1billion households in 156 countries.  The item closed with talk of future plans to bring it to  Hollywood,  to promote these "athletes", for them to make the crossover to tv and movies. A loftier goal was to perhaps bring it to the Olympics.

Really?! How can the States, how can the world ever think to resolve issues of violence when billions of people all over the world are willing to pay to watch it? There's not enough violence with wars all over the globe, with mass shootings everywhere, that they pay to watch more of it? I simply do not understand what people are thinking. When I think of the violence that permeates our culture I want to weep for my grandchildren. I hope they don't start watching the news for a very long time. I sure don't want to be the one to try to explain what is happening.

Canada Day publication

Tonight CBC's The National featured various stories of refugees settling in to Canada. In keeping with that theme, I was pleased to have the following piece published in today's Canada Day version of The Ottawa Sun.

June 20th was World Refugee Day.  Ottawa marked the event at City Hall as part of Welcoming Ottawa Week. “Welcoming Ottawa Week is a wonderful platform for us to reflect on Ottawa’s current and historic welcome to refugees and newcomers, while showcasing our genuine respect for the courage and strength newcomers demonstrate in overcoming tremendous obstacles to join our community,” said Ottawa Mayor Jim Watson.

Perhaps he should talk with an employee I encountered at a local store that day. While grocery shopping I suddenly became aware of a loud conversation. A cashier was talking to a customer. “Well I hope Trump gets in. We can’t have Clinton. Imagine how many refugees she’ll bring in. Trudeau has let so many in here.”

 It’s one thing to follow news reports about Trump’s speeches, but to have someone spouting his rhetoric right in front of me was disturbing. My inner voice told me to walk away but, like watching a train wreck, I couldn’t leave.

“Take Sandy Hook “ she continued, turning her attention to a couple of fellow employees, “ If those teachers had been armed, we would have had a different result. It’s not guns that kill, it’s people who kill people.  Did you know that ISIL has sent 40,000 trained radicals all over the world? How many of them are here in Canada?”

Still reeling from her verbiage, I left and got into my car. Suddenly I was on a completely different wavelength. In honour of World Refugee Day, CBC radio’s All In A Day was airing an interview with Kaylee Brennan    and Raphael Cuestas.  Brennan works at Matthew House, which provides assistance to refugees. Cuestas is a volunteer there and a former client. The interview was exactly what I needed in order to restore my faith in humanity. Here was a refugee who is now working at two jobs. He regularly donates 10% of his salary to Matthew House so that other refugees can be helped.

The following day I attended an ESL drop-in group for Syrian refugees,  organized by the Catholic Centre for Immigrants. I spent my afternoon sitting around a table with four Syrian men. One of them is a pharmacist who has already obtained a driver’s license, a car and a job. When I remarked that he must have studied English in Syria, he told me that he never spoke English before coming to Canada four months ago. Upon his arrival he studied for sixteen hours a day. I asked what topics they’d like to cover: money, food or body parts. How difficult and humbling to have to start from zero. We started with the names of coins and focused on the pronunciation of words like quarter and forty.  (Why do those t’s sound like d’s?) We talked about the differences between chin and shin, cheek and cheque. We enjoyed a laugh over chest and breast. “At the store do I buy chicken chest?”

The room was hot and crowded with loud construction noise coming from the apartment overhead. At the end of  two hours I was ready for a break and I wasn’t the one who had to concentrate and practise pronunciation in a foreign language.

The troubling conversation in the grocery store is a distant memory but unfortunately only a small example of the current climate of fear around immigration. On a much larger scale we have the momentous Brexit decision. How much of that was fuelled by a similar fear: of immigrants, of those who are unfamiliar to us. Speaking from my experience as an ESL teacher and volunteer, I admire the stamina and courage of these families who are struggling to make a new life for themselves in Canada.

As we celebrate Canada Day and reflect on our past, present and future, I think about my own ancestors. They were all poor people who came to this country from Ireland, England and the Ukraine. They worked hard and contributed to the development of Canada.  I choose to believe that these newcomers will do the same.

Summer

Ah, summer! There are peonies in the garden and swim suits on the clothesline; it doesn't get much better than that.

Yesterday we went for our first outdoor swim of the year. It was heaven; warm water and even a heron who landed near us, to provide visual entertainment. What a perfect way to celebrate the first official day of summer.

The summer solstice always reminds me of our time in Exeter, Ontario. We lived there from 1976 to 1979. Those three years, in small town, rural Ontario, were a special time. The friendliness of the people more than made up for some of the  big city  conveniences that we missed.

On June 20th of 1977, I was a desperate teacher in need of a movie. We were nearing the end of the school year and I was trying to keep my Grade 7 and 8 class occupied. In those days you could order movies from your local public library. The order went to a much bigger branch library, (probably Stratford) and they sent it out. The movies were on those big metal reels and were shown on the school projector.

I had placed my order but had forgotten to pick it up. At the end of the school day, while writing my daybook for the next day, I suddenly realized my mistake. I had been counting on showing the movie the following morning. It was almost 5 pm, closing time at the library.  Thankfully, the town librarian, Elizabeth Schroeder, answered my frantic phone call. She assured me that my movie reels had arrived. I told her that there was no way I could walk over to the library before her closing time.

It's funny what my small brain forgets and remembers. Somehow I can still recall her cheery reply,
"Don't you worry about that. Isn't it the longest day of the year?  Surely I can stay here until you arrive. Let's just make the most of this long sunny day."

Here's to friendly folks, summer and long sunny days!

Ottawa Citizen Article

After quite a hiatus I'm happy to have a piece in today's Ottawa Citizen. I wrote it to try to promote the idea of Ottawa's Giveaway Weekend, which takes place this weekend. It's a great recycling idea that needs more publicity. I was also happy to promote a couple of Ottawa charities which deliver furniture to needy families. In the piece I mention my prize from last year's  Giveaway Weekend. It's a great camp kitchen that was in this battered box.

Here's a link to the piece.

http://ottawacitizen.com/opinion/columnists/kot-dont-throw-that-useful-item-out-its-giveaway-weekend-in-ottawa
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Great Glebe - the 2016 version

In June of 2014 I wrote about the Great Glebe Garage Sale. Here's this year's recap.

The Great Glebe is the granddaddy of Ottawa garage sales and always takes place the Saturday after the May long weekend. It is immense and you would be foolish to try to drive anywhere near there that day. Thousands of people descend on the area to buy, sell or volunteer. This year's weather was hot and sunny so it was a perfect day to go for a walk among the lovely houses with their gardens all in bloom.

My favourite quote of the day came at 7:30 am, when I overheard a young child ask his Dad, "Is it later yet?" I wouldn't actually recommend bringing young kids to the Great Glebe. It's a very crowded event.  Some folks seem to think this is a fine time to show off their dogs. We even saw two dogs strapped into strollers. Now that's what the Great Glebe doesn't need...more dogs in strollers.

We didn't eat breakfast before we left the house. We were counting on finding last year's house that sold tasty breakfast sandwiches. However healthy food seemed to be in short supply this year. By 10 am we gave up looking for the breakfast sandwiches and settled for a hot dog. There were plenty of homes selling cupcakes and chocolate chip cookies. We did enjoy some fine fruit kabobs near the end of our morning.

The shopping itself was the usual interesting recycling experience with plenty of  surprising finds.  Perhaps our best buy of the day was a folding double stroller for $20.00. Avery and Eliza were thrilled with the little dinosaurs I brought home and proceeded to chase us with them, complete with scary dinosaur roars! Nothing says fun like having a twenty month old chase you with a tiny plastic dinosaur!

It seems nuts to say bring a cell phone but with that crowd it is so easy to get split up. The three of us were constantly texting our new positions. "Hey I'm at the corner now. I'm going to turn right on Fourth."

As usual there were so many good folks volunteering or working for good causes like Ecology Ottawa.  My favourite Great Glebe musicians, the Swampwater Dixieland Jazz Band,  were there again, raising money for the Ottawa Food Bank. I was most impressed with a group of young boys, about 10 years of age. They had a  bake table with a handmade poster explaining that they were raising money for fire victims in Alberta.

Here's the best part of the day. We walked around in that throng of thousands of people for four hours. In that time I never heard one angry word. I never heard an argument or any raised voices. Cars were crawling along, looking in vain for a parking spot or trying to pick up their purchases. Never once did I hear someone honk their horn. People were friendly, polite and accommodating. I came away with nothing but good feelings. How lucky we are to live in a city, where you can have so many people in such close quarters and they treat each other so well.

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Sunny Ways?

I have spent so much time bad-mouthing the Conservatives and praising Justin Trudeau and his new government that it would seem wrong not to comment on what happened in the House of Commons yesterday. Basically I simply can't believe it. Last night I couldn't believe what I was hearing and seeing on the tv news. Trudeau was totally out of line. His behaviour was rude beyond belief. His "sunny ways" mantra is gone, his reputation is changed forever and the opposition will surely hold onto that video for the next election campaign. What a foolish mistake.

I haven't done a lot of reading about this yet but it seems that there has been a lot of tension on the Hill this week. The Liberals have been trying to change procedures to get their legislation passed. However, no matter what the background, there is no excuse for Trudeau's behaviour. He's let everyone down...his government, his family, his supporters, the whole country and himself. No doubt tonight's CBC panels will have a field day with this episode.

Service

In the midst of the distressing news that usually permeates the media, I have been heartened to hear some good news lately. When fire struck Fort McMurray, good news stories just kept coming. People in small communities gave such a wonderful welcome to the evacuees. Some folks walked up and down the long line of cars with cans of gas for motorists who were about to run out. Others stood with signs offering free meals and places to stay. That tragedy has brought out the very best in so many people. It was particularly touching to hear that Syrian refugees, new arrivals in Alberta, were doing what they could to help the evacuees. Those people understand better than most, what it means to lose everything. These many tales of generosity restore your faith in humanity.

At this point Canadians have donated millions of dollars to the Canadian Red Cross. In turn the Red Cross has been able to make the largest individual payouts in their history.There have been some interesting questions raised about donations. Charity Intelligence Canada suggested that the small independent charities (like the Edmonton Food Bank) should also be receiving donations. CBC's The 180 talked about the importance of donating money rather than stuff when disaster strikes. All the donated items actually create a lot of extra work with sorting, storage and distribution.

All around me I constantly hear stories of goodness; people who volunteer with so many worthy organizations, people who cook meals for patients, people who constantly give so much time to serve others. In a recent interview on CBC's The Next Chapter with Shelagh Rogers, Governor General David Johnston offered three quotes on service:

"Service is an act of love."

"Love is service made visible."

"Service is the rent we pay for our space on earth."

If we pay attention, we can hear and see examples of service every day.  They are as welcome as the signs of rebirth all around us.

Feelings..nothing more than feelings

Have you ever been fired? Have you ever had your boss criticize you, in front of your peers? I've been thinking about this, after the very public firings of Tom Mulcair and Dave Cameron last week.

I've worked for a number of school principals. Many of them were intelligent, inspiring leaders and certainly worthy of respect. And then there were others. I've had a few rough moments with principals over the years. It hurts to have your work criticized. It must hurt a whole lot more to be fired. Most workers will suffer the hurt in private, hopefully behind closed doors where colleagues won't hear.

If it hurts to be chastised or worse yet, fired in the privacy of an office, how does it feel to be fired in public? I don't know how politicians do it. Once you put your name in the political ring you have little control over the next chapter of your working life. I've written before about our former MP Paul Dewar. He did an outstanding job as Foreign Affairs critic and yet he lost his job in last October's election.

Worse than individual MP's losses is what happens to their bosses. Take Tom Mulcair. It's hard to believe but less than a year ago Mulcair seemed well on his way to become Canada's first NDP Prime Minister. After his exceptional performance on the floor of the House of Commons as Leader of the Opposition, Mulcair was riding high in the polls. Everyone seemed fed up with Harper. It was Mulcair's time.

But then along came Justin Trudeau and voters jumped on his bandwagon. Now I have written before that I'm pleased to have the Liberals in power but I would have been just as happy to have Mulcair as PM. He has so much experience and intelligence. He could talk circles around Trudeau. And yet here he is today. He's just lost his job as leader. The results of the leadership review at the recent NDP convention were shocking. The NDP is now a deeply divided party, well back in third place. Politics is a very tough game.

I don't know how you make that emotional adjustment, from PM-in-waiting to ousted leader in such a short time.  How do you stand in front of your party convention where more than half the delegates have just voted to dismiss you? Somehow he stood there and gave a classy speech, urging the party to work together. And this week, there he is, in the House of Commons asking the tough questions and offering opinions on issues like yesterday's acquittal of Mike Duffy. You would never know by this week's performance, that this man was recently run over by his own party. No wonder the House of Commons gave him a standing ovation on his first day back.

And then there's Dave Cameron, now former coach of the Ottawa Senators. Like Mulcair, he didn't deliver a winning team so he's out. Wayne Scanlan of the Ottawa Citizen wrote."Here's hoping we see him again in the NHL. Whoever hires him will be getting a good man and a good coach."

Like politicians, professional athletes and coaches suffer their firing in public. What was different with Cameron's firing is that he spoke about being hurt, not by the firing, but by the way Senators owner Eugene Melnyk criticized him publicly three weeks prior to firing him. "I think what got lost in the comments is that you can evaluate me all you want on my coaching and fire me-I understand all that," Cameron said. "There's no need to be hurtful. We're all human beings at the end of the day."

That's something to remember. Our comments hurt, our criticisms hurt. Whatever a person's station in life, we are all, as Cameron said, human beings with feelings. I am often reminded of that as we journey with our family member who is affected by Alzheimers. Her memory is fading, names and facts are disappearing. Her ability to perform basic tasks is severely diminished. However her emotional memory remains intact. She is somehow able to remember who makes her feel good and happy. She also remembers who makes her feel uncomfortable and uneasy.  It seems that her emotional memory may be the last part of her to go. She can still feel much joy and she can still be hurt. Just like the rest of us.

Playgrounds

Ah spring! It might actually make an appearance this weekend! The arrival of warm weather marks the end of our social hibernation. I love it when neighbours are strolling around and enjoying conversations on street corners. It's a welcome contrast from fast-paced winter walks, with rushed hellos as we hurry along to get in out of the cold.

For young parents and grandparents, spring marks the return to playgrounds and parks. What a relief to put the kids in a wagon or stroller and head to a park, to let them run around in the fresh air. Right now parks are a muddy mess but kids don't mind.

Playgrounds have improved a lot since I was a young parent. It's not just that the equipment is safer and more creative. There are also the shared toys. That never happened before. If you wanted to dig in a sandbox, you brought your pail and shovel from home. Now all kinds of parents are leaving their toys, both big and small, at neighbourhood playgrounds for others to enjoy. They could try to sell them but instead they give them to the neighbourhood. I find that a lovely gesture, a recognition that "we're all in this together."

There are invaluable lessons to be learned by sharing equipment with other kids at a park. This current generation of parents who hang out together at parks, with a collection of toys, shared by other parents, have got a good thing going. It really does take a village to raise a child.

Radical Grace

In case anyone checks this space today, I will write about Radical Grace. We're not big tv viewers. Some days I think I'd be happy if we only had CBC, but you already know I am a CBC nut. This week we stumbled across a real gem. If you have a chance, you may want to set your pvr to record a wonderful film, Radical Grace, that will be shown again, on CBC's The Passionate Eye, tonight at 10 pm. This weekend marks the start of Holy Week and I can't think of a better way to mark the Easter season, than by watching this film.

Again, I know I've also said this before...So many people wonder why anyone would stick with the Catholic Church. There are so many serious problems with the institution. However, if you watch this film and follow the story of these nuns, you'll see the answer. Every once in a while, you get a reminder of what the church is actually supposed to be about..helping people, following Jesus' example, spreading the Good News!

This film comes at a major crossroads in the Catholic Church, and the nuns are everything that's right with the institution. They stand with the marginalized, and won't be bullied by the hierarchy. I feel a deep connection to the women featured in Radical Grace.

- Susan Sarandon, RADICAL GRACE Executive Producer

I'd love to get some of the super conservative priests I know to sit down and watch this film. These nuns are just so inspiring, with their example of giving and actually living the gospel message. The film traces three nuns as they go about their missions. It also follows the Vatican campaign against nuns in the U.S. This Vatican intervention was instigated by  Pope John Paul 2 and his successor Pope Benedict. They reprimanded the nuns, charging them with "the promotion of radical feminist themes, incompatible with Catholic faith...focussing too heavily on promoting issues of social justice." Really? Can you focus too much on social justice? Are there so few problems?

There's a very powerful moment in the film. One of the sisters, Jean Hughes, who works with ex cons, says, "My goal is to try to love people as unconditionally as I can, so that they have that experience at least once in their life." It's one of the most holy things  I have ever heard anyone say. The filmmakers follow up that simple, beautiful message with a quote from one of the Vatican bishops, looking to chastise the nuns. Among other things, he says, "The mission of the Church is to help people get to heaven...The goal is to be forever with God in his kingdom....The question is...Are you still religious, are you still nuns? Are you still Christian?"

And there you have it. Those two quotes pretty well sum up how I see the church today. There are  folks  who genuinely want to follow the spirit of Vatican 2, just follow the basic message of Christ. Many, like the nuns in this film, are in their 60's and 70's. They were around for Vatican 2 and they remember the promise of that time.
Then there is the institutional Church that wants to promote rules and regulations and thinks that pursuing an afterlife is way more important than how you live this life now. One of the nuns puts it this way, "They (the institutional church) have substituted rules for real spiritual leadership."

These nuns and many of us, see Pope Francis as a ray of hope. No, he's not perfect but he's a real breath of fresh air. Unfortunately, as someone told me, turning the institution of the Catholic church around is as difficult as turning a huge aircraft carrier around in the ocean. It can't be done all of a sudden.

If you don't catch it on CBC, go to the Radical Grace website  and have a look. Spending a while watching even part of it, is probably among the holiest of ways to spend Holy Week. These strong, inspirational women and these filmmakers have given us a real Easter treat.

Thanks

To anyone who has checked this space in the past month, I'm sorry. Real life seems to have a way of taking up a fair bit of time. It may sound boring to talk about illness again but that's life. Some years are like that. This time it was my daughter and her family who were affected.  And so we have spent a fair bit of February in the company of our adorable (and exhausting) grandchildren. This post will be brief, as I pack my bag for another train trip tomorrow.

An observation about strollers: I have often heard people complain about the new strollers, how big they are and how much room they take up on public transit. Having spent some recent time pushing a stroller around, all I can say is.... have a heart. When you see someone pushing a stroller, that person has probably been up since five or six in the morning. They still have to get through suppertime and bedtime. Days with babies and toddlers are very long.

It was interesting to see how people reacted or didn't react when I was at a door or struggling to navigate stairs with my stroller. Many people rushed past without a glance. Others were so very kind, opening doors or helping to carry the stroller so I didn't have to bump up and down the stairs. I really appreciated their help. Also much appreciated has been the incredible support shown to Norah and her family. It is a gift to be surrounded by such goodness.

So back I go. It's been a whole week and I can't wait to see the kids again.

January lessons

A couple of days ago I went for a short walk and felt like I was coming out of hibernation. I've been inside a lot this month. My cough/cold somehow developed into back/leg pain. All I can guess is that the coughing may have triggered the back into action. I am now on the mend and visiting my physio regularly. During my last visit, in the middle of a manoeuvre where he seemed to be putting all his weight into drilling my hip with his elbow, he asked if I was okay. I told him it was all fine, as long as we didn't post a photo on the internet. I walked out feeling a whole lot better.

I'm pretty lucky that I don't get sick all that often, so this has been a humbling experience. I've been reminded that our circumstances don't really matter; we are all just  bodies, some luckier than others. This month's deaths, of some well-known singers and actors show that fame and money don't protect you either.

My relatively easy encounter with the sickbed should serve to make me more sympathetic to others when they are under the weather. Basic caring gestures like phone calls, texts, visits and food are so much appreciated when you just don't feel like doing anything.

If it was May and everything was blooming and the days were longer, then it would have been a pain to be stuck inside. However, with its cold, short days, January is the perfect time to cocoon on the couch. I have taken time to watch a few movies, my favourite being Silver Linings Playbook.

Our home is about to burst with stuff so I've spent some time sorting, organizing and discarding. I come from a family of savers so discarding does not come naturally to me. For example, when the kids were born, we put all the baby cards into shoeboxes. Those boxes, have sat untouched for 30, 33 and 35 years. Last week I went through baby Brendan's cards. I must confess that I saved a few, but the majority of his cards are now gone.

Gone also is the art that he produced at age 3. It's been on a shelf in his closet all these years. A friend told me this week that if you really want to remember your kid's art, take a photo of it, instead of keeping the actual paper. Of course these creations weren't just paper. A lot of these masterpieces had sand, wool, popsicle sticks and material glued to them...very cumbersome indeed.

This week we have been trying to organize all our music books. If we were organized folks then we would have done some of this when we got married, forty years ago. There are piano books and sheet music from Pat's childhood and teen years. There is all my music. Our kids also took music lessons. (How many copies of the Royal Conservatory Grade 4 book does a family need?) Pat and I both led school and church choirs for years so there is a ton of both liturgical and school music.

On top of that, Pat inherited his aunt's music. Those gems, from the 20's to 50's are really coming in handy as Pat plays weekly at a nearby long term care facility. As we have sorted through the piles this week, he has been constantly running to the piano, to try many of them out. That's the advantage of sorting. You re-discover treasures you had forgotten.

When his Aunt Mary was alive and we would sit in her living room listening to her funny stories, I would sometimes look at her antique furniture and wonder who would get it? Instead of furniture, Pat was given all her music. That old sheet music means so much more to him, that any antique ever could. It's so satisfying for him to remember her, as he plays her music and shares it with others.

Perhaps my most important lesson this month came in a conversation with a family member who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. I asked her how she was coping with radiation. When we spoke, she was just about finished her three week session. In the cheeriest of voices she told me that she was feeling fine except for a puffy face from steroids. She laughed that she was so puffed out, all her wrinkles had disappeared. She and her husband drive for an hour, every day, to the hospital in Kingston. Many of us would be complaining about having to get in the car, every cold day in January to go to radiation but not this lovely, feisty person. " You know, Mary Ellen, that drive along the lake is just so beautiful!" She also invited us to visit them again, for some time on their sailboat this summer. If she's so cheerful, I'd better not even think of complaining. Here's hoping that she enjoys that drive, the lake and her family for many years to come.

Happy Easter?

After laying low for a few days with a cold, I ventured out yesterday. My first stop was to a Rexall Pharma Plus. I was shocked to see a staff member opening boxes and stocking the shelves with Valentines Day merchandise.

It was Seniors Day at Shoppers Drug Mart so I went there next. What I saw there made me stop in my tracks. Two staff members were busy cutting into boxes. One person was stocking the shelves with Valentines day merchandise. The other worker? Well she was in the Easter section! Eggs, bunnies, you name it; it's all there. "You're kidding?!" I asked incredulously. She shrugged and answered , "I sure don't make the decisions. This is Shoppers' policy. After all, Easter is early this year." It's true, Easter is on March 27th but does that mean we have to see Easter eggs in stores on January 7th? It's a gross example of the crass commercialism of religious feasts.

I really hope I won't be in a drug store with my grandchildren for a long while. I really don't want to have to fend off requests for Easter candy before we have all recovered from the sweets we ate at Christmas. Talk about rushing the season!

Christmas Visit

Well that's it! Christmas is officially over. Every year my parents give us a tin of Quality Street  chocolates. We all have our favourites. I have just eaten the very last blue (coconut) one, so that is the end of the season for me.

It has been wonderful to have a busy, full house. Brendan, who now lives in Nova Scotia, was home for ten days. Norah and her family were here for a week. With them camped out here, Aaron was also around a lot. Although we would love it, if our kids all lived in town, there is an intimacy to having them sleep over again, that I really enjoy. That wouldn't happen if they lived here.

They all left on Saturday morning. I always feel sad when I go upstairs and see the empty bedrooms.            
                                     

                                     And now for the cleanup. There are toys to put away.

                      It will be good to move more freely, with the baby gates down.

         Rooms will look bigger when the baby furniture gets stored in the basement.

      It will seem a little more civilized to have a dining room table without a pool             noodle on it. The noodle worked well, to keep Eliza from bonking her head.

                        We'll untie the shoelace that kept Eliza out of the junk drawer.

              All of these minor accommodations were a small price to pay for the many special moments that we enjoyed. Just spontaneous, small happenings - moments that money cannot buy.

      Like watching a little guy explore and enjoy the first real snowfall of the season.

                               

Or a fifteen month old sharing a book with her ninety-year-old Great Grandma.

                                        And Avery singing Jingle Bells with his Grandpa.

Living with toddlers is totally exhausting but worth all the effort. Before we know it, they will be teenagers. We are savouring every moment with them now.