Thinking of Dad

 Today would have been my father's 97th birthday. He's been gone for three and a half years now. It's surprising how memories are triggered - sometimes by a date, a song, a photo, an object. Because we live in a house that he often worked on, there are several spots in our house that remind me of him and his many talents.

Last week it was a smell that brought back happy memories with Dad. I was at my childhood home. It's an old place that when built,  was centred on two big oak trees. There is still one of those trees left and this year is a banner year for acorns. (Last year there were hardly any.) That oak tree stands in front of the verandah where Dad spent many happy hours on his "swinging bed,"  watching baseball games at the park across the street. 

Because there are so many acorns this year, I googled acorn crafts and was inspired to gather acorns from home. Perhaps,  on a winter day, I may use them to make a wreath or something else. Anyhow I was there at the house, shovelling acorns into a box. Along with the acorns came some twigs and leaves. They combined to produce a familiar smell. As I transferred them into the box I felt like I was smelling my childhood. 

After all these years I suddenly had a flash of being a kid again, of  Dad raking the oak leaves into big piles for us to jump into. We had a large front lawn, so there was lots of space to take a long run, before jumping into the piles he created for us. 

It's a simple memory, nothing outstanding, but that image of Dad, encouraging us to run and jump and have fun outside makes me feel good and reminds me of how lucky we were to have him. Raking leaves into piles for us was just one of the countless things he did, to provide us with a happy childhood. Lucky us !

Want to be an executor?

 Can you revive a blog after such a long absence? I haven't felt like writing for a very long time. Now, though, with summer behind us and indoor weather approaching, it feels like time to start again. 

For months, well, almost a year now, our family has been in the process of settling Mom's estate. The pandemic has added another layer of complications over this sorry business. 

A few weeks ago, I was at a bank, investigating a complication with one of Mom's accounts. The person serving me frequently deals with estate matters. I asked her if she had ever been the executor of someone's will. She immediately answered,  "No, I haven't, but I think it's one of the worst things that can happen to someone." She's not far off. 

Have you ever had someone casually say to you. "I hope you don't mind but we did our wills and I put you down as executor. You don't mind do you?"  Or, "We were thinking of naming you as executor, That's okay isn't it? "

The thing is, the person asking you this favour has probably never been anyone's executor themselves. They have no idea what it entails. Some people actually think it is an honour to name someone as executor and/or power of attorney for property or business. Acting as Power of Attorney for business or property could take years, if you are acting for a relative with dementia, who lives a long time in that state. The position of executor is not an honour. It is a job! 

When thinking of who to ask to be your executor you should consider the person's abilities. Are they organized? Do they possess good communication skills - verbally, as well as with written correspondence?Do you want your executor to act on their own or are you thinking of naming a couple of executors to work together? Does the person you are thinking of, have the time required to devote to this job? 

For the past year I have held this position, along with two of my siblings. To settle an estate you have to deal with the funeral home, your family members, the Canadian government, the Ontario government, and the municipal government for starters.  We have also consulted with appraisers, an arborist, an accountant, real estate agents, banks, and of course lawyers. I've probably forgotten others. Besides the hundreds of emails, there are meetings, phone calls and  paperwork to keep track of. Along with the legalities involved, there are the more mundane but necessary discussions about the distribution of furniture, family heirlooms and just plain stuff. 

As we near the end of this draining year, I look forward to next year and the years after that. With my position as executor behind me, my time will be my own, to spend as I wish. It's going to feel like a real luxury.