Feelings..nothing more than feelings

Have you ever been fired? Have you ever had your boss criticize you, in front of your peers? I've been thinking about this, after the very public firings of Tom Mulcair and Dave Cameron last week.

I've worked for a number of school principals. Many of them were intelligent, inspiring leaders and certainly worthy of respect. And then there were others. I've had a few rough moments with principals over the years. It hurts to have your work criticized. It must hurt a whole lot more to be fired. Most workers will suffer the hurt in private, hopefully behind closed doors where colleagues won't hear.

If it hurts to be chastised or worse yet, fired in the privacy of an office, how does it feel to be fired in public? I don't know how politicians do it. Once you put your name in the political ring you have little control over the next chapter of your working life. I've written before about our former MP Paul Dewar. He did an outstanding job as Foreign Affairs critic and yet he lost his job in last October's election.

Worse than individual MP's losses is what happens to their bosses. Take Tom Mulcair. It's hard to believe but less than a year ago Mulcair seemed well on his way to become Canada's first NDP Prime Minister. After his exceptional performance on the floor of the House of Commons as Leader of the Opposition, Mulcair was riding high in the polls. Everyone seemed fed up with Harper. It was Mulcair's time.

But then along came Justin Trudeau and voters jumped on his bandwagon. Now I have written before that I'm pleased to have the Liberals in power but I would have been just as happy to have Mulcair as PM. He has so much experience and intelligence. He could talk circles around Trudeau. And yet here he is today. He's just lost his job as leader. The results of the leadership review at the recent NDP convention were shocking. The NDP is now a deeply divided party, well back in third place. Politics is a very tough game.

I don't know how you make that emotional adjustment, from PM-in-waiting to ousted leader in such a short time.  How do you stand in front of your party convention where more than half the delegates have just voted to dismiss you? Somehow he stood there and gave a classy speech, urging the party to work together. And this week, there he is, in the House of Commons asking the tough questions and offering opinions on issues like yesterday's acquittal of Mike Duffy. You would never know by this week's performance, that this man was recently run over by his own party. No wonder the House of Commons gave him a standing ovation on his first day back.

And then there's Dave Cameron, now former coach of the Ottawa Senators. Like Mulcair, he didn't deliver a winning team so he's out. Wayne Scanlan of the Ottawa Citizen wrote."Here's hoping we see him again in the NHL. Whoever hires him will be getting a good man and a good coach."

Like politicians, professional athletes and coaches suffer their firing in public. What was different with Cameron's firing is that he spoke about being hurt, not by the firing, but by the way Senators owner Eugene Melnyk criticized him publicly three weeks prior to firing him. "I think what got lost in the comments is that you can evaluate me all you want on my coaching and fire me-I understand all that," Cameron said. "There's no need to be hurtful. We're all human beings at the end of the day."

That's something to remember. Our comments hurt, our criticisms hurt. Whatever a person's station in life, we are all, as Cameron said, human beings with feelings. I am often reminded of that as we journey with our family member who is affected by Alzheimers. Her memory is fading, names and facts are disappearing. Her ability to perform basic tasks is severely diminished. However her emotional memory remains intact. She is somehow able to remember who makes her feel good and happy. She also remembers who makes her feel uncomfortable and uneasy.  It seems that her emotional memory may be the last part of her to go. She can still feel much joy and she can still be hurt. Just like the rest of us.

Playgrounds

Ah spring! It might actually make an appearance this weekend! The arrival of warm weather marks the end of our social hibernation. I love it when neighbours are strolling around and enjoying conversations on street corners. It's a welcome contrast from fast-paced winter walks, with rushed hellos as we hurry along to get in out of the cold.

For young parents and grandparents, spring marks the return to playgrounds and parks. What a relief to put the kids in a wagon or stroller and head to a park, to let them run around in the fresh air. Right now parks are a muddy mess but kids don't mind.

Playgrounds have improved a lot since I was a young parent. It's not just that the equipment is safer and more creative. There are also the shared toys. That never happened before. If you wanted to dig in a sandbox, you brought your pail and shovel from home. Now all kinds of parents are leaving their toys, both big and small, at neighbourhood playgrounds for others to enjoy. They could try to sell them but instead they give them to the neighbourhood. I find that a lovely gesture, a recognition that "we're all in this together."

There are invaluable lessons to be learned by sharing equipment with other kids at a park. This current generation of parents who hang out together at parks, with a collection of toys, shared by other parents, have got a good thing going. It really does take a village to raise a child.