Alzheimer's

When our kids were little, we restricted their tv viewing so closely that for a long time they were unaware that there were any stations other than CBC and TVO (TV Ontario). They are still my favourite stations.

For many years we had dear Ely Yost hosting Saturday Night at the Movies. Sadly, Elwy and that show are no more. TVO is now showing documentaries on Saturday nights. While the very word documentary may sound too serious for a Saturday night, so far I am impressed. (I know, I am showing my age by actually watching shows as they are aired.)

Tonight's show, The Genius of Marian, was very moving. I have seen other shows about Alzheimer's and they were good but this was really special. This 2013 film follows 61 year old Pam White as she and her family cope with her decline. This family is just so caring, devoted and compassionate. One of the realities that the film reminded me of, is that Alzheimer's affects a person's physical abilities as well as their memory. And so her husband helps her to dress, among many other daily tasks.  This beautiful former actor and model must now have someone with her at all times.

There is much to appreciate in this film: the home movies interspersed with current footage, the paintings of Marian, Pam's mother and the sensitivity of the filmmaker, her son Banker. In the intro before the movie, TVO's host states that, " in the end, it is above all, our humanity and common sense that is most helpful to people with the illness." Something for many of us to ponder.

peace and quiet

The following piece I wrote last week, while in Toronto. Now that we are back home and the dust has settled, I will attach the photo and post it.

I have just enjoyed the most peaceful, blessed hour! After a week spent packing and helping my mother-in-law to settle in at a retirement residence, we are visiting Norah and her family. Yesterday we sent little Avery to daycare for a large chunk of the day, so today we decided to keep him home with us. The morning was spent playing and taking him for a walk. By noon we were all ready for a break. We put him to bed and counted on a very long nap. However, less than an hour later there he was, sobbing unconsolably. Our plans had been thwarted by a gigantic poop!

After we cleaned him up he was still crying, so I sat with him and he quietly snuggled in. It reminded me of similar times with my own babies. Often those quiet snuggles, after a nap were the most peaceful time of the day.

Today Avery seemed so content, I wondered if I could take it a step further. If we laid down in bed, would he possibly go back to sleep? I carried him back upstairs and we got under the blankets in my bed. For a little guy who is constantly on the move, it was surprising and lovely to just lie quietly together and listen to the sound of his breathing. I loved the feeling of his little head nestled into my shoulder and the warmth of his body next to mine.  For the record, he didn't sleep. However, I kept drifting in and out of drowsiness. As he made his little noises I suddenly had a flashback; not to the 80's with my own babies, but way back to the 50's.

It was a hot sunny day and my own mother was trying to get me to have a nap. I know it was hot because I remember listening to the cicadas and the sounds of kids playing in the park across the street. I remember wanting to get up but feeling somewhat trapped by her body beside me, so much bigger than mine. Now I realize that she must have been exhausted. I was the eldest and my three sisters arrived within 5 years of my birth. On that particular summer day, perhaps the younger ones were down for a nap and she thought she could fool me into having one as well. Isn't that the perennial hope of parents and grandparents...a little bit of rest in a busy day?

Avery was content to lie still for about 45 minutes. As he awakened more fully he played with my fingers and started to make his funny noises. Our special time was ending.

I tend to make job lists and keep busy all day long. Along with the usual new years resolutions of exercise and better diet, I should really try to carve out some time for rest. Without Avery, my rest times would be very boring, but I could close my eyes and pretend. Here's to all the young parents out there, desperate for a short break.

Christmas come and gone already

With Matt's funeral on Dec. 7th and then another celebration of his life in Peterborough on Dec 21st, our Christmas preparations were pretty rushed. In between those two events we came home, decorated, shopped and wrapped. Everything was simplified to save time and to reflect the basic fact that all the frills do not really matter. The only important thing was to be together.
Lucky me, no turkey to stuff; as usual we ate Christmas dinner at my parents' home.

As I wrote on Nov. 23rd. Alison Moyet said that " happiness occurs in minutes, suspended in pedestrian years."  And so, during this Christmas, I enjoyed a series of sweet moments, often at unexpected times.  I remember thinking about that, while lying on the couch. It wasn't one of those planned out moments like the opening of the presents or sitting down together for an elaborate meal. It was just me lying on a couch, listening to all the sounds of my family...people cooking, chatting, consulting on a crossword puzzle, laughing while playing cards, playing with the baby, playing the piano.  It was very ordinary and yet quite perfect.

From the other photo you might have the impression that we really are on top of things. However, this is really what our living room looked like for most of the time the kids were around. I'm fine with the furniture out of place and the Ikea tunnel in the middle of it all..it was a happy kind of chaos. Looks like our angel had a bit too much to drink.

The New Years Grinch

You would think that after all the goodies I have consumed over the holiday period I would be feeling fat and jolly but no, just fat! Still grouchy after all these years. It does seem a shame that my first letter to the editor for 2014 is me complaining again but, I could not resist. With the incredible cold and snow that winter has delivered so far, I thought it wise to link these conditions to the many proposed buildings in our downtown core. Planners simply do not take this amount of snow and/or cold into consideration when they draft these new developments. Anyhow this letter is in today's Ottawa Citizen.

So, welcome to winter in Ottawa! Ever since November it has felt like mid winter. The city was forced to start their snow removal program early because we have received so much snow. Frigid conditions have been hazardous. Have Mayor Watson, city councillors and our planning committee noticed the weather?

 

Whenever I attend meetings about proposed infill houses or massive condos, the draft pictures are always set in summer scenes. There are benches, flowers, blue skies and scraggly new trees. When you talk to city officials, staff or councillors and dare to ask where people will drive or park you are sometimes made to feel like a dinosaur. Driving is the new smoking! 

 

City officials claim that the residents they are cramming into my West Wellington neighbourhood and all downtown areas, will not come with cars. They will jog to work, bike to the grocery store, walk to their gym and do yoga on the benches outside their condos...year round! Hardly anyone will drive anymore. We will take public transit, not cars.

 

I do take buses and think our transitway works well. I look forward to the light rail system and will be happy to use it. However, I will not sell my car. I will still drive many places. I will bike when I can, but I will never bike from November to April. I will not attempt to walk down a sidewalk when it is covered in ice. This is Ottawa folks. 

 

You can't prevent these new residents from bringing their cars with them. The traffic in our section of the city is already crazy. Don't attempt to drive Byron Avenue during evening rush hour. Parkdale is impossible at any time. We can only imagine the permanent gridlock from morning to night once all the new condos are completed. And these new houses which are sprouting up like mushrooms; the ones with no yards, no grass, no living things anywhere? Where do you think they are shovelling their snow? They have no front yards to put it on, so it is going on the snowbanks and streets; another reason for the early snow removal.

 

Next time I attend one of those planning meetings I'm going to ask for the mid winter version of their drawings.

The snowbanks on our block